From the mind of a mild mannered maniac

Drawing a blank


Despite the fact that I had been searching high, low and everywhere in between. I couldn't, for the life of me, find the sweater vest I was looking for in the Gentlemen's clothing store. I studied the advertisement for the umpteenth time, but the sale item was nowhere to be seen.

Aside from myself, the store was devoid of customers, and the only sales clerk was preoccupied with a phone call. As I approached the sales desk, it became obvious from his expression and body language, that the conversation was of a deeply personal nature.

Not wanting to eavesdrop, I waited a respectable distance away, but just near enough that it should have been clear enough, to anyone, that I required assistance.

The salesman briefly looked up at me, but despite knowing, that he now had a customer to attend to, his ear remained firmly glued to the receiver.

Long minutes ticked by and my patience wore thinner, and thinner still. It wasn't even as i he was on the line with a client.

"Excuse me…" I began. He raised his hand, palm out, to silence me.

I glared at him, spluttered something about rudeness and customer courtesy, but essentially, words failed me.

I tossed the flyer on the floor. The uncouth clerk, looked at it, grunted something like, "Whatever," shrugged and went back to his phone conversation.

I stormed out the door, but couldn't get the blasted thing to slam shut.

It wasn't until later, while seated in a coffee shop with a steaming mug in front of me, that the words returned. Firstly I had a number of choice suggestions as to where he might stick his phone, none that are printable here however. Then a better comeback occurred to me.

I went back to the store, looked him right in the eye and said.

"My employer sent me down here to arrange an appointment. He wishes to be fitted for a dozen hand tailored, double-breasted suits, ten shirts, and six silk ties."

The clerk's eyes gleamed as he was quite clearly calculating his commission on such a sale. Then I added,

" Unfortunately, since you were too busy to help me, with it, I was forced to take my business elsewhere!"

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Comments on: "Drawing a blank" (8)

  1. Oh man, that was the best post ever!!!! I loved that reply. Reminds me of Pretty Woman movie!!!!! great job my friend

  2. Ouch … then … That a way!

    • LOL! I’m terrible at trying to react in the moment!
      Give me time to think it out,though, and I can usually come up with a zinger! 😉

  3. Oh to be able to go back and say what we came up with later! This had to have felt good. If the clerk has any brains, he will have taken it to heart and realized what he could do differently in the future. It may, in the long run, have helped him!

    • Yes, it felt better than it, really, ought to have! 🙂 The funny thing is, I have been in that same establishment many times before, and had three or four sales clerks falling over each other to serve me. I think I just caught them on a bad day!

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