From the mind of a mild mannered maniac

Posts tagged ‘Birthday’

WHERE’S THE BIRTHDAY BOY?

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I just came back from a family birthday party, where the guest of honor did not attend.

Before anyone gets the wrong idea here, I should mention that the Birthday Boy, aka, my Father,was home in bed being nursed back to health, a very good excuse for missing it.

At the outset, mild panic had ensued. The cake had been ordered, a great deal of food and beverages had been laid on and it was far too last-minute for cancellation.

So, we had ourselves a party!

It was strange, though, to cut the cake without candles first being blown out!
Not to mention how odd it seemed, having to explain this phenomenon to each newly arriving invitee.

Before long though the music went on, couples jived merrily across the floor. The party was very soon in fullswing, and the oddness just as quickly disappeared.

I was left wondering, why exactly don’t we have “just because” parties, more often?

I mean, everybody enjoyed drinks, eats, and treats, including a piece or two of the aforementioned cake. We had a unique chance to catch up on the lives of some, seldom-seen, friends and our big beautiful, steadily increasing family.

All in attendance, got to let our hair down, some figuratively others literally. We were able to
de-stress from our hectic week, and enjoy each other’s company.

In other words, even without a guest of honor in attendance, a very grand Birthday party occured!

My, now 76 yr old. Father who really detests celebrating his birthday, these days, and hates music to be played above a whisper, was not as ill as he let on, and is feeling much better for having escaped his own party.

He also got to sleep in all day, which, he says, is much his favourite passtime.

That my friends, after a fashion, is what you might call a rip-roaring success!

Oh, and yes, I even saved him a piece of cake.
🙂

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Turning 50

I can deny it no longer folks …..

tomorrow (May 4th 2013) is my 50th Birthday.

There, I’ve said it!

When I turned 30 all those decades ago, I honestly thought my life was ending. I had no more excuses, my youth had faded, it was time to man-up and to embrace some foreign thing called adulthood, whatever that was.

It meant that I had to focus attention on the future, my future. I had to start doing boring stuff like, acting responsibly, and showing a modicum of maturity.  Oh the horror!!! I was becoming one of those strange “adult” people, you know, the types?  The party poopers that always leave a rave before midnight ,  that deliberately watch  news and current-event programs on TV, or willingly drive mini vans loaded down with drooling, screaming kids? The kinds of people I had mocked,  teased, and rebelled against  for the first 29 years of my existence? Sorry about that btw)  In those days, I didn’t “feel” older, and if I ignored the calender for long enough, if  I stayed away from mirrors and bright light, I could still pretend to be a kid. Couldn’t I???

Then came 40….Oh boy I was dragged kicking and screaming into that decade, let me tell you!!!

Anyway, as that big day approached, I fought like a Roman gladiator to remain thirty something. “How old are you?” Friends would ask me.  Yikes! I could never bring myself to say  “I’m almost 40″, oh no, not I! That, was too much like giving up, was tantamount to admitting defeat!. No, Instead, if I couldn’t summon the nerve to say ” mind your own bleeping business”, I would say “I’m thirty nine and a bit” then I was 39 1/2 then 39 5/8, 39 3/4, 39 7/8, but never forty no, not that!! Forty was unthinkable.

So why am I telling you all this?

Hmmm…. why indeed?

Well, tomorrow I turn 50, or to say it another way…  half a century. Imagine that? Do you realize how much has changed in five long decades? Well let me tell you, a whole lot of water has passed under that bridge, Buddy! Heres the kicker though, for some unknown reason, I can say it openly and without cringing (too much). 😛

I don’t know what has changed in me, am I giving up the battle?  Has senility taken me hostage? Has the real Cliff Lewis been  taken hostage by aliens? No I don’t think it’s any of the above. I think I might just be coming to grips with the idea somehow. Time to change teams my friend.

Each morning now, I wake up with a little less gusto than I used to, feel the aches and pains incurred by the previous day’s not-so strenuous activity, and sigh as I catch a glimpse of my steadily thickening waistline.

I groan a bit with the effort of raising my pathetic torso from the bed, and take it all in stride. Even as I glance at my visage in the bathroom mirror,  the wrinkles and furrows and ravages of time that confront me there. The streaks of grey that are starting to out-number the brown on my matted head,at the hairs that protrude like bristles from nose and ears. I’ll leave that delightful image in your minds for a moment, and yet…..

I  can smile inspite of it all. You see, I’m still breathing, still have my health (pretty much) and am surrounded with good people who love me and/or tolerate my existence in their lives. There are probably a great many poor souls born since 1963 that sadly, can’t say the same thing. 😦

I may not be young but I  am alive and for that I am more than grateful! 😀

So, to all my fellow “Nifty Fiftys” and soon-to-be’s out there,

Congratulations on half a century of survival! 

~Cliffy

p.s My good cyber-friend Johnny C. sent me me the following amusing article courtesy of…LoveToKnow Senior Citizens

go ahead, have a good laugh at my expense! ;D

Turning 50 Jokes

Turning 50

Turning 50 often comes with some good-natured ribbing and humorous observations. If you or someone you know is turning 50, and can appreciate a few jokes about aging less than gracefully, here are some jokes you can share.

One-Liners About Turning 50

Humor is subjective, but perhaps a few of these jokes will give you a chuckle. If they do, pass them on.

For Women

You know you’re 50 when…

  • Your face has more wrinkles than an elephant’s backside.
  • You can look back on your 40th birthday and wonder what all the drama was about.
  • You’re thankful when someone tells you that you have lipstick on your teeth because it means you still have teeth.
  • You purchase your moisturizer by the case instead of by the jar.
  • Hair dye goes on your shopping list under “essentials” instead of “luxuries.”
  • That come hither look you used to have in your eyes just doesn’t look as enticing through your bifocals.
  • Your once fabulous behind now looks more like a set of mud flaps.
  • Your hot flashes result in savings on your heating bill.
  • You finally understand that being over the hill beats being planted under it.

For Men

You know you’re 50 when…

  • You now have more hair on your knuckles than you do on your head.
  • Your idea of getting lucky is being able to find your car in Walmart’s parking lot on the first try.
  • You have to use your GPS to locate your feet because you can’t see over your belly.
Birthday
  • Your trick knee goes out more than you do.
  • Your idea of a hot time is putting a heating pad on your bad back.
  • You want your kids’ to think you’re cool, so you ask them to help set up your own page on MyFace and you can’t understand what they’re giggling about.
  • Getting some action means all those prunes your doctor is making you eat are doing their job.
  • You and your teeth have decided that a separation is the best thing for your relationship.
  • Getting high means it’s time to take your blood pressure medication.

——————————————————————————————————–

Cheers,

~Cliffy 😀

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